1) Hot, rich, younger men love fat, older vulgar women.
2) If you have a best guy friend, he is in love with you.
And secretly you are too.
3) You and your boyfriend will always playfully chase each
other on an ice rink, at the beach, or in the leaves. And
you'll laugh for no reason and your boyfriend will hit you
"playfully" but the force of his push will have
you flying across the room. But it's okay. Cuz you're still
laughing like a crazy person.
4) Brothers/cousin/uncles-newphews will always love the same
5) You're allowed to make uturns wherever you want in Korea.
And there is never traffic on the side you want to u turn
6) There is a super quick payment device that allows you
to pay a bill quickly enough for a guy to run immediately
out of a restaurant after his angry girlfriend storms out.
7) Everyone has cancer.
8) If you're sick, all you need is an IV to make you feel
9) There is vomit and urine all over Seoul at nights.
10) Fighting at a pojangmacha with a random stranger is merely
part of a normal night's event.
11) Soju must cost 10 cents. Everyone drinks it everyday
all the time, especially the poor people.
12) If you're rich, you're a jerk.
13) If you're poor, you're an angel.
14) Women sleep and wake up with a full set of makeup on.
15) You're not studying hard enough unless you get a nosebleed.
16) If you have a nosebleed, you most definately have cancer.
And you have no money to pay for the surgery that will save
your life. And your liver is missing. We're not sure where
it went, but it's making your cancer progress faster.
17) If you work in a sool jeep, you have massively curly
hair and wear flashy colors from the early 90's.
18) You always order orange juice or coffee at a cafe. And
you never drink it. EVER.
19) You will always call your boyfriend by his job title.
Or simply sunbaenim. Never his name. Never. He doesn't have
20) If you TRULY love each other, you must die together in
the end. Frozen outside instead of finding shelter like sane
people. Just frozen....
21) You go to America you come back miraculously successful.
You go to England you come back amazingly fashionable. You
stay in Korea the only thing that changes is your hairstyle.
22) And if you come back with no apparent reason then it's
because you have cancer.
23) Everyone always goes to the same hospital no matter where
24) If you stand out in the rain for more than five minutes,
you'll end up with a fever and vertigo and people will rush
you to the hospital to get some magic IV. And instead of taking
an ambulance or driving they'll race you on their back.
25) Even if you're poor and can't eat, you never wear the
same clothes twice.
26) If you play a poor kid, you always have dirt on your
face and your hair is always messy.
27) If you're saving someone from being hit from a car, you'll
push them out of the way and wait for the car to hit you instead.
biggrin.gif couldnt be more true, their like a deer in headlights
28) Everyone has a long lost sister/brother/twin. Usually
one they didn't know about.
29) If you don't want to answer your phone, you can't just
turn it off. The battery
needs to be taken out.
30) All korean men can drink hard, smoke long, sing well
and play piano. Usually all at the same time. And at the same
restaurant that has a piano that they let anyone use.
31) If you're in a relationship, you must at one point leave
and have your lover tearfully come RIGHT before you board
the plane (vice versa applies as well. You can be the chaser).
60% of the time you see each other, the other 40% you're roaming
around in circles and pass each other about six times, but
miraculously never see them.
32) If you're getting off a plane, you're ALWAYS wearing
33) All guys wear hideous tracksuits zipped up to their neck.
Even if all they're doing is jumproping.
34) Girls will always storm off because they're mad and the
guy will stoically grab them by the arm and swing them back-
and by magic, not dislocate their shoulders.
35) Guys always look like they're 6 feet tall, even if they're
only 5'10. Thank you camera angles.
36) Guys like to wear foundation, eyeliner and sometimes
a smudge of lipliner.
37) You always get stuck in an elevator with someone who
makes you feel uncomfortable. Even if there are six different
elevators, you'll always be stuck in the same one with that
bastard you hate (or just fought with).
38) Unless you're fabulously rich, your in-laws will always
39) So will your sister-in-law.
40) Your brother-in-law might be pining away for you.
41) There are only 2 ways to kiss. You either press your
lips against theirs with your mouth completely shut, and just
press away for a very long and uncomfortable time. OR you
devour the other person and suck out their soul. In both instances,
the world spins.
42) A guy will always get the right size ring, even if you're
never held hands.
43) People stare off into space and ponder a lot. They'll
just stop in the middle of the road and watch a leaf on a
tree for a good three minutes, and just ponder.
44) You'll get pregnant the first time you have sex.
45) You'll get pregnant if he kisses you on the forehead.
46) Hell- you'll get pregnant if you hold hands.
47) If you overcome great obstacles to be together, one of
you must die. Probably due to cancer.
48) One korean man can kick the butts of 6 gangstas. Especially
when they all stand in a circle and attack the guy one by
one. Then when each of them get their butts OWNED, they wise
up and attack the guy at the same time. Then the guy will
get pulverized and bleed out onto the dusty concrete floor
of the empty warehouse they've found to fight in. There will
be a fire in a trashcan somewhere. And the girl will have
watched this the entire time, screaming in horror. Instead
of calling 119, she'll just watch and cry. But it's okay.
Cuz the next day the guy will be fine with a few random bandages
and a few face scars. But never a black eye.
49) It ain't a real fight unless the gangstas fight dirty
with a stick or switchblade.
50) If you study in the states (perferably Harvard), you
are one of the top students and can speak perfect English
(as assumed by the reactions of those around you). Why the
rest of the world OUTSIDE of the TV can't understand a single
word uttered out of your melodramatic mouth is beyond me.
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