“I don’t know when I had started to feel that I couldn’t manage my own expressions, when I’m down I have to smile, and times when I’m in a good mood, instead I have to pretend that I’m profound.”
He had to show a side of youth, enthusiasm and childlike side of himself which he claimed doesn’t fit him. Sometimes TV seems to be the frame controlling him making him feel very depressed and frustrated.
When Seungri came across problems that were hard to solve, he would talk about it.
“I couldn’t really talk to G-Dragon hyung without making him mad, so I would cry to myself. Why can’t I do the expressions that I want to do, is it because I’m not professional enough? Can I still carry on with this?”
At this point, Yang Hyun Suk president summoned the cusp Seungri.
“You can’t even challenge yourself, then how are you going to shake people’s heart?”
Seungri thought that the senior’s words must be right, after that he became more comfortable during broadcasts. If he came across problems that were hard to solve again, he would be able to stand up and do everything on his own.
“I’m trying not to ever repeat the same mistakes.”
The show business life has a lot of controversy and difficulties, for which Seungri had many challenges in the future.
“The entertainment industry is a really scary place because of all the rumors. For example Goo Ha-Ra and I are friends, and because it’s just us two in the friendship of course the two of us would go out and have dinner, date, play and our relationship is just like that. But there will always be people who over exaggerate what they see, and then broadcast around about different parts they see. This is the most terrifying thing. So that is why I never worry over such things.”
Even though there was worries, Seungri would not easily talk to people about it, leaving people to think that he was cheerful and his self-confidence was natural at the same time, he would always protect himself.
“This is the only way to survive in the entertainment industry. In the past, I would talk to any of my friends about my worries “only you know about this hyung!” I would tell them. After talking to him, he felt very pleased. But then the next day, people would come up to me and say “Hey kid…work hard!” At that time I felt that I was naked standing in front of the public.”
Then he began to hate himself that his own heart was revealed, especially to the public about his private life. An artist’s fear is beyond the imagination of others.
“When I was in front of people I wanted to be dressed, as I was young back then I quickly understood later on that it was just my imagination, “This person is looking at me’ I would think. At one moment I felt that I was treating people like machines.”
Because of his original looks and his image in the public’s eyes he felt very distressed about it.
“Because I’m the youngest, there are many time when the hyungs can’t do something I have to do it for them. The youngest will have to do everything. In spite of this I will still be thankful that I can be with the hyungs and appear on the dance stage together.”
“Of course there should be more development ideas. Comparing phones that make calls and send text messages to other mobile phones that can’t, of course everyone will prefer the phone with a variety of features and I want to be a universal person who can do everything in front everybody.”
Korean article: asiae
Translated: joyee @ ibigbang.wordpress.com
Edited: alee @ ibigbang.wordpress.com